Lauren Ferguson | There are no mistakes in art, just opportunites to embellish. (tm)

Special Needs require Special People

Can I tell you that it has been such a long road to get to this place.

A few weeks ago, I had the boys evaluated. They have been home with me for the past year and we have been muddling through the homeschool process. 

I have a great network of wonderful people in my life. My parents, as crazy as they are, love my kids and step to the plate to help me whenever they can. I have my good friend Debbie who has been an invaluable source of inspiration. She has really helped me to navigate through this maze of Speciality Needs.

This may sound crazy, but when the boys were home with me and I knew that something was just not right, I was OK with it just not being right and working through the transitions. Once you have it written down in black and white by a professional it takes on a whole new meaning.

You have your few minutes on the ride home from the office to sit with the fact that there is a problem that needs to be fixed. It is not as bad or as hopeless as you had though. There is a name for the elephant in the room -- ADHD, and that is not bad. 

After my first set of tears, I realize that all hope is not lost. I just have my work cut out for me as a mother. I must advocate to make sure that they get all that need and all that is available. 

I wipe my tears with my Super Mom cape and reach down to tie my boot straps. I am one of the lucky people who has boot straps.

I have a few numbers to start the dialing journey looking for help, asking for help, finding out what I need to do next. And in this process, I found an agency called Parent to Parent of Georgia.

I spoke to a woman named Laurie. She let me tell her my fears, my hopes and my BIG plans for the boys. She let me embrace all of my apprehensions and she took me by the hand and said all is good you are in the right place.

Y'all, I have been to the mountain top and it is just beautiful. 

Parent to Parent USA (P2PUSA) is a national non-profit organization committed to promoting access, quality and leadership in parent to parent support across the country. This site highlights alliance member statewide organizations that have parent to parent support as a core program and a commitment to implementing parent to parent evidence-based practices. Parent to Parent programs provide emotional and informational support to families of children who have special needs most notably by matching parents seeking support with an experienced, trained 'Support Parent'. 

The website has a database online for services if you want to search on your own or you can call and they will search the database for you. 

I cannot tell you how refreshing it was to have someone say to me you will need this and this and this and this and oh, we have this that may be helpful. She left no stone unturned. When I hung up the phone, I had everything I needed and more sent to my email. 

And they even told me that I could call back. Oh I did this morning, I called back and within minutes, I had another print out sent to my email of all the summer camps that are available in my area.

I know that my cup runneth over. 

I know that I am blessed. 

I know that this new road we are on is going to have its challenges. 

I am going to keep my eyes open.

I am meeting some of the most extraordinarily special people along the way.

until we meet again,

Parenting takes up a lot of time!!

I have been so neglectful of my blog. Please forgive me.

But did you know that parenting takes up so much time. I mean between the Wacky Wednesdays and the Freaky Fridays and this activity and that activity and this doctor and that special thing, I am just beat.

Needless to say, I have been neglectful and I am now going to keep up.

I have the best story to tell about my most recent visit to the Dentist with Ziggy.

Oh please indulge me for just one minute... this is a story that will go down in history.

Ziggy has never had any positive experiences at the Dentist. His first two times he had to have teeth extracted because he has a junk mouth.

Apparently he had been sitting in front of the refrigerator drinking syrup. You ask how long? Until his teeth needed to be pulled. Mind you I have created a food restricted home on too many levels to list here.

I like syrup with my waffles. I make them fresh every morning. I have a waffle iron that I leave out on my counter just like my George Foreman grilling machine.

Oh but I digress. So we go to the Dentist this past Wednesday. We have been speaking to him about it. He has made it clear that he does not like the people, the place and all he wants are the gooddies you get after. We have played all kinds of games and even practiced in the chair at home so he knows what he is getting into. I asked as many questions and got what worked from all sources.

Well we get there and he won't open his mouth for x-rays. Nope not doing it.  He had a fit! And it just kept escalating.

At one point with three assistants, the Dentist and myself trying to hold him down -- he screams "this is the worst nightmare of my life". He then tells me "You cannot hold me down against my will! I am terrified and I am going to faint".

I did not know whether to laugh or cry.

After it was all said and done the Dentist asked how does he do under sedation. I could not have been happier. So we scheduled him to go to Scottish Rite to have all the work done. The last time he had his tonsils out we were out of there in just under an hour because he was hungry and ready to go.

Even though parenting takes up a lot of time, it also pulls on my heart strings.

until we meet again,

She's How OLD??

I cannot believe that 7 years ago, I was giving birth to my daughter. Right now at this time, she was only 1.5 hours old and had been whisked off to the NICU because she was only 4 pounds and 32 weeks old.

I can remember my dad being there with the video camera and all he kept saying was "OMG what is that? Is she suppose to look like that? Why is she so pink? She's so little."

And she was. You could fit her in the palm of your hand. My dad still taunts my mother by tell her that he saw "his granddaughter" being born.

I cannot believe that my life has changed so much in these few years.

Time has taken long to go by so quickly.

Is it that they just keep having birthdays and it is not until that day when you stop and look back on the whole year.

Or is there something that happens on birthdays that makes you wonder "How the hell did I make it through another year and they have all their limbs attached?"

Every year, I try to do something fun and crafty special for the kids birthdays. This year, I came home from my normal Wednesday Mama Run-A-Round, I made Chi-Chi a Happy Birthday Pin.

She loves it! She is so funny. She saw a ribbon in the store that said Happy Birthday. She wanted to buy it. I told her "Put that back, Mama can make one."

And then she proceeded to give me all the details of how I needed to make this the best Birthday pin ever with flowers, glitter, curly ribbon, and a BIG Happy Birthday in the center?" Without hesitation, I said "Of Course I can".

This morning she told me that I was the best Mom ever and off she went to school, on the bus, my big girl.

until we meet again,

Creative Parenting Saves Lives!!

My neighbors must think that I have lost my mind. Today I admit it I have completely snapped. I just could not take it anymore.

Some days are great and I am secure in my decisions and then there are days like today where I just think that military school is looking better and better.

Well, today the boys just ran me up a tree. I could not take it anymore. They did not want to play and learn, they did not want to learn and learn, they did not want to play.

So finally after lunch and what was suppose to be a simple short nap for us all, a quick dinner and bedtime turned into a nightmare.

The boys were fighting all day. I had enough. I had all I could stand and I could not stand anymore. Just when I realized that the nap thing was not going to work, it got worse. Yes, it got even worse when they went all over the upstairs and started slamming doors and just plan out through a fit. Ziggy has figured out how to lock the door when he is mad. Chinadu just kept slamming and slamming and slamming.

I snapped. That is right, I snapped. I lost my mind. I walked all over the house in a complete daze.

I finally figured it out. You know how you have that moment when you reach back into your past and try to find something, anything that will once again bring peace and harmony into the house.

Then it hits me. I could see my cape waving behind me, hear angels singing and see white doves being released. All I need is a Phillips head screwdriver. Off I go to the basement to get one with a short stop to the pantry for a self-sealing bag and then right back upstairs.  I have once again conquered the twin conglomerate in my home.

I took the door knob off. That's right, I took it off the door. No more slamming doors in my house. I did not take away their privacy, although between you me and the walls, that is the next step, the whole door.

I just wanted the slamming part to stop. Peace and Quite has arrived in my home at 6.00pm once again, the world is full of harmony.

Yes, they cried for about 2 hours, but as my Mama would say "the more you cry the less you pee".

until we meet again,

I need to know...

**** WARNING THIS IS A RANT ****

Please someone tell me why do men do this. 

Or is it just my husband and do I need to train him better.

I am sure that everyone has their pet peeves.

Marriage is hard anyway.

I made a decision 8 years ago to spend the rest of my life with the man that I love. Little did I know what I was actually signing up for.

When I got married it was easy just the two of us. We came and went as we pleased.

And to be truthful, being married the first two years were great.

Then my mother's grandmother clock started to tick and I kept getting the comments like: "Did you hear that so and so is having her third grandchild?"

And my response would be "And can you please tell me how do you 'HAVE' a grandchild?"

Oh, but I digress.

So finally we throw children into the mix. And trust me what a mix of wonderful, different and chaotic it can be on any given day.

But I thought that we had grown past things like this. I thought that when we had children we gave up our childish ways.

I know the kids did not do it because they have been trained since the could wipe their own bottoms not to EVER do this.

PUT THE PAPER ON THE ROLL!!

{SIGH}       

until we meet again,

Is Personality Genetic?

OMG, I am raising a mini-me! My daughter and I are EXACTLY alike. And she is a hand full.

I have been in denial about this fact. I have actually had discussions about this with friends and family. I have denied, screamed and stomped my feet in defense of myself.

Let me tell you what happened...

I pick the kids up from school, dinner is ready on the table when we get home and I am thinking this is a great day...

They eat, I cut an apple and send them on their merry ways while I take care of Mama stuff in the kitchen.

I set the dishwasher to run and off I go upstairs anticipating my time watching Cash Cab with the kids, followed by an hour of How its Made.

I walk into my bedroom and there is my daughter in all her glory. She has propped up the pillows, starting eating her apple and turned to the Disney Channel.

Hold up wait a minute, I want to watch Cash Cab. I have a bowl of apples, I even have a drink that I might share with her if she is nice to me.

After some back and forth conversation about what is happening, she decides that she is not going to her room and she wants to watch it in my room.

I am not in the mood to argue, so I leave with the mama warning. "Don't come down stairs to the basement, because if you do you will go right to bed. I will be back after my shows are over."

Off I go and watch my shows, the kids go to bed and life goes on.

Well just the very next day, we go thru the whole routine all over again.

The kids go upstairs and I get to cleaning the kitchen. All the sudden out of no where she starts screaming "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!  GET OUT NOW!!!"

Blood curdling screams, I have her come downstairs and this is the conversation...

What is the problem? Why are you screaming like that!

I want the boys to get out of my room.

What did they do to you? What did they not do to you? Why do you want them out?

I want to be alone. It is my room and I want my privacy!

OH HELL NO!!

I took this as the time for what the books call the teachable moment.

My mother called it the time when she would let me know that there is room for only one Bitch in her house and it was not me.

I then said...

You went in my room, turned my TV and then told me what we were watching. How does it feel to have your space taken over and have no say.

How dare you want me to DEFEND your privacy when you cannot RESPECT mine.

I will defend yours until my dying days when you learn to respect mine.

So the first way for this new process to start is for you to sleep in your own room and stop roaming into mine in the middle of the night.

You will stop bringing all of your toys, dolls and other kid activities into my room. And if you do bring them in you will take them out when you leave.

You will remember to knock on the bathroom door before you turn the knob. Then and only then will I even lift a finger to make your privacy a priority.

Apparently she has heard me. She has not roamed in three nights.

Oh my this kid thing is going to kick my butt. I have not even begun to contemplate the teen years. I am struggling with 6 let alone 16.

until we meet again,

In the News...

Apparently while we were in Disney, my Dad and the boys were asked to give an interview back in March for a local Florida newspaper called the The Reporter.

Well, my Dad just gave me a copy of the paper today.

How exciting to see him and the kids in print.

In my head the boys are such different people, they don't look alike, they have completely different personalities, they even walk and talk differently, Ziggy is a lefty and Mr. Du is not. I mean everything about them is different. The only thing that they have in common is their birthday.

So when people see them dressed alike, they immediately assume that they are brothers, and have to ask are they twins.

My Dad never calls them his twin grandsons, they are just "The Boys". And Chi-Chi is simply "Sissy". It is only when they do that crazy twin thing -- you know how Ziggy knew even before I told anyone that Mr. Du was lost in Animal Kingdom -- that I remember how close they actually are.

The caption under the photo reads:

Bert Ferguson, who loves "Pinocchio," brought his twin grandsons, Chidozie and Chinadu, to Walt Disney World recently from their home near Atlanta to meet the characters at the Magic Kingdom.

Then my Dad is quoted saying:

It's those warm and fuzzy memories of a childhood raised on Disney movies that appeals to the theme park's visitors like Bert Ferguson, a resident of the Atlanta area who loves Pinocchio and wanted his two young grandsons - Chidozie and Chinadu, both age 4 - to experience the fun of meeting those classic characters during a trip to the Magic Kingdom.

"They're having a great time," Ferguson said during a stop at Downtown Disney, where his two grandsons were decked out in pirates costumes. "Last time we came, they were dressed as Peter Pan. Now they're pirates."

Ferguson said he and the boys had just visited the Magic Kingdom, and had lunch there - which provided an opportunity to meet those legendary Disney characters.

"It's fun," he said. "They've had a great time here. We've done everything we can, and I've spent a lot of money!"

Looking back on it now, after having had a few weeks to put it all in perspective, Disney is not so bad. The kids loved it, Dad wore his pirate hat with pride and most of all, the kids have some wonderful memories.

until we meet again,

37 Little Rabbit Fufus

Yes, I was up until 3.30am making a bunch of Little Rabbit Fufu bags for the kids for school.

It is the most amazing thing how I have been dubbed the crafty mother. I am the mama that makes everyone their gifts for the holidays.

I have to laugh because now that the kids are getting older, they have even begun to expect that I make the gifts for their classes.

This time around, Ziggy helped me with the paper piecing of each one.

At first, I was not sure if he could do it. But when it was all said and done, he did a fabulous job putting the ears together.

Yes, there is blue glue all over the place, but the look on his face when he was putting it all together was priceless.

He had such a look of accomplishment.

Being a mother is just an amazing time in my life. I see myself doing the things that my mother did when I was a kid.

I can remember when I was in fifth grade and had to do a project about the Aztec Civilization in air dry clay. I can remember going to bed at 9.00pm and waking up and it was finished!

That was my favorite project. I can remember the endless dioramas and glue stick projects that have shaped the person that I am now.

So in the end, being up at 3.30am is just part of the process that shapes who we are and creates the memories of life, love and family.

until we meet again,

When you don't double check

This morning Chi Chi was the first one up and ready to "head out" and "on the road".

I told her to get ready. I gave specific instructions about it all.

I even had a list for each one of things to take in the car. You know that final mama list before you walk out the door so that you only have to go home once.

Well I just looked down and my daughter has on two different crocs!

Apparently after close to 200 miles I was not observant and my parents are upset with me.

Now she is 6 years old. Apparently she made a choice.

She told my patents that she could not make up her mind. She loves them both. And that I told her she could only bring one so she put on one of each.

I love this child of mine.

until we meet again,

Mandatory Family Bonding has come again

Well it is that time of year again. 

You know that time of year where it is just too cold for shorts during the early morning hours but too hot for a winter coat in the mid afternoon.

Yes, It is mandatory family bonding once again.

So this year we are off to the land of the mouse... that famous rodent... that place that people go to get all of the money sucked out of their pockets to be able to say that yes, their kids have seen and done it all

That's Right DISNEY WORLD.

The land of the happy rodent. The place were little people come and clean up and give you chocolate and watch each one of the human sins manifest itself in the face of a little child... three to be exact.

I tried to get my parents to take the kids without me. No go. I tried to tell them that the kids were bigger and better... No go.

So off I am for 7 fun filled days with your friend and mine...  Yes, MICKEY MOUSE...

Oh how the kids love it and at this point, I am just going with the flow. It could be a down hill mud slide, but as long as it is moving in a forward direction, I will just avoid all of the fall out and debris.

until we meet again,