Lauren Ferguson | There are no mistakes in art, just opportunites to embellish. (tm)

Living below the Mason Dixon Line

Now y'all know that I am from NJ. I have moved to the South because I  can afford to have a nice big house and raise my kids.  The truth is that I still miss bagels, pizza and taylor ham.

When I got here, a few people spoke of the war of Northern Aggression. That's right you heard me some people are not over it yet. There are a number of lawns that are decorated with the black jockey holding a lantern.

But then you get an email like this from your good southern friends who remind you why you moved to the south in the first place. 

Thanks Amy!

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        FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Always bring the food.

        FRIENDS: Say yes that looks good on you...
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Say...what the hell are you wearing--get that off!

        FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.

        FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad

        FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Cry with you..

        FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just
        being together.

        FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

        FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' back-ends that left you.

        FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, 'I'm home!'

        FRIENDS: will visit you in jail
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: will spend the night in jail with you

        FRIENDS: will visit you in the hospital when you're sick
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: will cut your grass and clean your house then come
        spend the night with you in the hospital and cook for you when you come
        home

        FRIENDS: have you on speed dial
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: have your number memorized

        FRIENDS: Are for a while.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Are for life.

        FRIENDS: Might ignore this.
        SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will forward this to all their Southern Friends

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until we meet again,

What a crazy two weeks...

Can you say SUMMER!!!

Where do I start? I have had a crazy two weeks. Let me start in the middle.

OK, so I get on the road to go to Scrapbooks and More in Knoxville. When I get on the road, I have a routine. I have to stop get a Starbucks, gas and a cold drink from the gas station.

While the gas is pumping, I reach into my bag for my iPod to plug it up and guess what, it does not work. Now I just used it a few days ago while I was crafting.

I need to have my music when I drive. I listen to Steely Dan and Van Morrison and Earth, Wind and Fire while I drive. I have a plan. I have a set of songs that I have programed for the road.

I am in a panic why doesn't the iPod work. Apparently, I had left the heat gun running and zapped by iPod.

I should have known that it was going to be a bad ride right after that moment. But no, I kept the faith and kept moving.

Well three hours into the ride and about 30 miles outside of Knoxville, I hear this sound on the passenger side.

You got it, I had a flat tire. Well I get off at the next exit and pull into the McDonald's. I make a phone call and wait for my friend Melanie to call me.

She comes to get me, I pack up her car and off we go to teach class. After class, I call AAA and take the car to Wally World for a new tire.

Classes were fabulous and a good time was had by all.

As far as family goes, Ziggy quit the family again.

So my husband decided that if he quit, he had to leave and stripped him down naked and told him he could only leave with what he came into the world with.

Ziggy started to cry and I asked him what the problem was. He told me that he wanted to stay until he had a "better plan".

Chi-Chi wants school to start. She is tired of going to the pool. Yes, she is tired of the pool.

Mr. Du is ready to have "his own place" so that he does not have to clean up his room anymore.

Raising kids is a job and I have no time to do me. I must admit that I have been able to shower every day and that is a good thing.

I'm off to put music on my new iPod.

until we meet again,

I have a Big Girl Playdate... ALL WEEK LONG

That's right you heard me. I have a Big Girl play date scheduled for all week long.

My friend Samara Joseph is coming into town today from Detroit.

We are going to craft and play and go to the pool and craft and do the ATL! We are even going whitewater rafting on this coming Sunday.

Oh it is going to be so much fun!

I have to admit that sharing a room requires a bit of tidying up.

I have not had my craft room this clean in a very long time. I am actually quite proud of myself.

I probably have about another two hours of cleaning up to do before the room is presentable to strangers.

I have been know to get down to just the top of a chair to craft when times are desperate.

Sometime projects are just not done enough for me to pick them up. Oh hell, sometimes I just lose interest and Dory to the next shinny thing.

But either way, I promised my husband that before I took the dress form apart, I would have the room cleaned up and the kids would have scheduled activities.

I am so excited, I am not sure I am going to be able to sleep!

until we meet again,

I made 17.75 @ the yard sale

Well it was a great day at the yard sale yesterday.

Mom and I got there early and were the second group of people to set up.

People were setting up from 7.00am until 9.30 am.

There were inside tables and outside tables. Of course the inside tables were sold first and then the outside spaces were on a first come first pick basis.

We got a space directly at the door entrance. There were a bunch of people selling all kinds of house hold items and kids cloths and kids books and kids toys.

I realized that I was the only person with any crafting supplies.So immediately, I think that I am going to make a killing... NOT!!

Well, at around 2.00pm, I started to walk around. I had been sitting for over three hours and while people were coming around, no one was really buying.

I was content with the day. I got to spend it with my Mom just hanging out. As I was making my way back from the ladies room, out of the corner of my eye I saw this thing. It was calling me by my first name.

An antique Tailor's Dress Form. Please be still my heart! I immediately started to palpitate. I knew that I had to have it. All of the pieces move in and out on hinges with wing nuts and screws.

I have never seen one like this before. It is perfect in every way.

Well she wanted $30.00 for it. At that point, I had only made $14.25. I had promised my husband that I would not spend any money that I had not made at the yard sale. So I knew that I could not walk into my house with this thing and be in debt over it.

So she said that she could not go back home with it because she was moving to Ireland and was leaving in less than 3 weeks. Bottom line it could not go back to her house.

Oh, I knew that I was meant to be there. it was mine I had coveted and that was that.

So as the next 90 minutes pass, my Mom is looking out the corner of her eye every time someone walks out. My Mom could not take it any more, she finally gets up and goes inside and says what all Mom's say and it starts something like this "MY DAUGHTER is a Mixed Media Artist and she has been in..."

Mom then opens the door and shouts to me "She will give it to for 15.00 BUCKS. Come on and get it."

Well off I go with my 15.00 BUCKS and now I am the proud owner of the dress form!

It actually comes apart into pieces and can be cleaned up and made to look great!

It is a bit dusty and needs so good ole' fashion love. But trust me once I am done lovin' on this thing it is going to be the bomb!

So all in all I actually made about 2.75 and came home with MOJO flowing. Now to get my craft room cleaned and start.

until we meet again,

Nothing is in Focus!!

Oh the summer is here!!

The kids are out from school. I am home with them for the first time. Normally they go to year round school. But this year, I decided to take them out and do the summer.

Well it has been an adventure! We have had a blast. The kids are having fun and I am having fun with them. You know just that plan out an out family fun.

You know the fun that does not cost anything.

Well you know that is the kinda fun that requires the camera for all of those great photos.

I am excited it is the summer and it is picture season.

So I reach into the camera case and ready to snap some shots in Mom and Dad's backyard while we are grilling some burgers and with all the anticipation of the beginning of my photo summer fun...

NOTHING!!!

The camera does not work. My camera will not focus, so it will not take a photo.

Oh my GAAAWWWWWDDDDD!!!

I am in a panic, the kids are playing, Mom and Dad are grilling.

I let out a scream that is from the pit of my belly.

Silence pours over the backyard and my kids look at me as if I have just lost my mind.

I did!!!

Come to find out, from my 6 year old Daughter who loves to have an authorized reason to tattletale, my husband dropped the camera and it fell on the lens.

So now what do I do? Oh my what do I do?

Can I be honest for just one moment... The first thing that I thought was "I have projects that need to have photos done. What am I going to do? I have finished projects on the floor that need photos."

So of course, I decide to run inside and grab my Dad's point and shoot. The kids go back to playing and Mom and Dad go back to grilling.

I came home and asked if he knew what happened to the camera.

Kids are wonderful! Chi-Chi says  "Daddy don't you remember you dropped it in the park?"

What could he say? He just looked at me and did that thing that men do when they are stone cold busted.

So now I am in the market for a new camera.

But in the mean time, I am still using Dad's really good point and shoot until I can make a decision about which camera to get.

So I promise to show you all the cool stuff that I have been working on in the past 8 days and blog about them immediately.

until we meet again,

Single Head of Household

Oh my it has been an interesting week.

I have been making samples for classes and getting pieces ready for every kinda thing imaginable.

But I need to let y'all know that raising kids is rough.

I really did not know what I was getting into.

Each day brings wonderful new adventures... Yeah right, that all sounds good, until they come into your craft room and spill all of your paint on the floor and start finger painting on projects that need to be photographed and shipped.

Yeah, it all sounds good until you realize that the sponges on all of your sponge brushes have been pulled off and "used" to make a "thing" with your favorite liquid adhesive.

Yeah it all sounds good until you go into the craft room and realize that at that very moment, something is not right, you can't put your finger on it but you know something is wrong...

then it hits you...

They have taken your last piece of patterned paper, cut it up into little squares, glued them on to each other and are calling it "Sponge Bob".

That is just wrong on so many levels.

They don't even get to watch Sponge Bob in my house.

But there is relief in sight. I scream upstairs and tell my husband...

"COME AND GET YOUR KIDS BEFORE I SELL THEM TO THE CIRCUS!!!"

"COME AND GET YOUR KIDS BEFORE I [you fill in the blank]."

There is a relief that you get when you can actually stop yourself from killing them because you can push them off on the other homosapien who helped to produce them.

It is a relief to know that when I have had my fill of parenting and need to get a break, I can just yell upstairs...

"IF YOU DON'T COME GET THESE KIDS [you fill in the blank]."

I have to say that I do not know how all my friends who are Single Head of Households do it without losing their mind, biting off their tongue or causing permanent psychological damage to themselves and others.

Think about it a Single Head of Household raised The President of the United States.

So the next time that I am complaining about some crazy life experience which I got stuck cleaning up the mess... I am going to remember just how hard it could be.

So to all my SINGLE HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD friends, I take my hat off to you.

Three day weekends are hell no matter who you are.

until we meet again,

What a difference 3 days can make

I love going away to teach.

I love being able to see old and new friends.

It is great to meet new people and make new friends.

But I have to admit that on that third day I am ready to come home.

By Sunday I am spent and ready to see my kids.

I landed this morning at 7.55 and my youngest son wanted to come to the airport to pick me up.

It was wonderful to see him. He is getting so big. It cracks me up to come home and see them in a new light.

I am amazed at what a difference three days can make.

So tomorrow, I hit the ground running being a mama. I need to purchase a new washer.

Oh, I forgot to tell you this story.

I called Sears last week to come out and see why my washer was not running the rinse cycle.

At first I thought that there was a sock stuck in the pump.

I make the appointment for Monday. It of course is an all day appointment. They do not give you a specific time it is anytime between 8.30 am and 5.00pm.

Well Monday comes, kids are off to school, Eji is out the door early. I am home waiting for the Sears repair man.

At 8.15 the phone rings and I am the first appointment of the day! Woo-Hoo it is going to be a great day...

NOT!!

Apparently Paul got the call. Paul is 6.7 and at least 400 lbs.

He comes into my basement sees my small laundry room and says that he cannot work on it because he is too big to fit in the room.

I say to him well if you move the dryer you will fit.

He looks at me and says, "I would have to move the dryer and the washer to fit in that room."

Yes, he refused. I actually had to call Sears and tell them that he refused to fix it because he was too big.

Do you know that the supervisor said "I will send another technician out on Wednesday."

I have never been so livid.

So this is how I wound up in the laundromat with 9 loads of laundry.

Well, Dave came out and told me that the actual bucket is broken and it will cost 700.00 to fix.

I politely kick Dave out of my house and decided that I will be buying a new washer tomorrow.

Oppss, sorry I digressed...

Where was I... Yeah being a mama.

I missed the kids and they missed me. Oh I know that this may not last forever, but for now it really is a nice place to be.

until we meet again,

Bits and Pieces...

Mr. Du lost another tooth!

You guessed it, my little man has lost his second tooth.

It is amazing how it only takes him one time to realize that if he keeps throwing his teeth away, he may never see the tooth fairy.

He told his teacher at school "Don't lose it, because it turns into money! POOOFFF!"

Oh how they make me laugh. Kids are so resilient. And just when you think that you have them all figured out, BAAMMM they go ahead and start growing up again.

I love the spring! I hate the pollen! But I love the Spring!

Today was just beautiful, sunny and my kinda day.

I am working hard on staying true and steady.

Yes, the cleaning up and purging is kicking my butt. As soon as I think that I am almost done with a box or a bin, another set of stuff just pops up.

My paper is multiplying like roaches right in front of me. I just do not know where it is all coming from.

So off to clean some more and make some art.

until we meet again,

Matter is neither created nor destroyed...

It is just redistributed. This is true for fat cells and crafting supplies.

Then I think of my new motto...

To clean or not to clean? That has never been the question.

The real question is do i think that I may use that in the future. The answer has generally been yes, hold on to it.

And that ladies and gentlemen is how I have found myself in my present state of "too much shit".

Hence, the cleaning of my craft room. Yes, I am really letting go of some old Basic Grey, Periphery and Oh Baby!.

It kills me, but I must.

What ever is not sold, I am donating to the local children's hospital and senior center.

So below is the information for where you can get fat and buy all my stuff.

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May Paper Crafting Consignment Sale

Sale Days
    Friday, May 8th....................9:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.
Saturday, May 9th....................9:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

Half Price Sale
    Saturday, May 9th     12:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.

Who/Where
Marty McGee @ Pat’s home:  3998 North Puckett Road, Buford, GA 30519
Pat’s home is at the corner of North Puckett Road and Thompson Mill Road

Contact: martyz@bellsouth.net

CASH ONLY.  ALL SALES ARE FINAL.
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until we meet again,

Spring has Sprung!!

Oh my what a wonderful set of days back to back.

Spring is always a time of transition. I am a sunny hot gotta have the heat kinda girl.

I do not mind it at all. I actually look forward to it.

I am by no means a beach bunny, but oh how I love a good sunny day in the South.

It is just HOT hence the name HOT-lanta.

I have been cleaning my house, my craft room and enjoying it.

Speaking of cleaning, I had cleaned out the garage a few months back and found the plastic Easter eggs that needed to be filled with candy and money.

I brought the bag into the house and found out that the kids had never opened them from last year.

Yep, I apparently denied my kids.

Once I got over that need to laugh, I realized that it worked really well and that I would do it again this year.

So once again, the plastic eggs are safely back in the garage waiting for next Easter.

I am finally out of the cold winter blues!!

SPRING HAS SPRUNG!!!

until we meet again,